Definately Maybe

  
   ...I've been trying to work on english all afternoon, but I couldn't seem to get into it. :o( Gotta find three poems or lyrics from the same author that are tied together by a common theme of past experiences that 'shape who we are'. Abstract. *pulls face*
I think I need to get out of the house. Somewhere is calling me, and right here is much too far away. *slight grin* Yeah, I'm feeling really restless... and I'm struggling not to submerge in my feelings. It could have something to do with how warm my room is right now... :oS The sun has been shining on my side of the house all afternoon. The Potholes would be really nice right now...  
 
 
    I've been thinking a lot about honestly lately, and what it truly is to open up to someone. It seems like we spend much of our growing up years learning how to defend ourselves from what others think of us, and we end up - despite our best efforts to stay honest and open - with at least one mask that we continually wear. I know people love me for who I am... but I can still see so many little things about myself that I try to hide. Like innocence or emotion... I can't count the number of times I've tried the fact that I just don't understand a lot of the 'gutter talk' I hear often. Why? Maybe because I don't like to feel ignorant, or 'sheltered'. Laughter is often seen as disapproval.
     ...and then, after we've built up mask for ourselves, we look back at them and are totally discontent with what we see!
 
    "I don't want to be perceived the way I am, I just want to be perceived the way I am'
-RK
 
    Pride must play at least a part in this. So I guess that brings us to humbleness.. How would we show ourselves to others if we were completely humble? Like the apostle Paul perhaps. Sarah and I have been reading 1 Thessalonians; it's really neat to see how honest Paul is about his ministry and his personal life. I want to be that honest about myself... I want to be humble enough to realize that my only boast is in God, so there is no reason to try so hard to appear special in the inconstant eyes of others. My claim to fame should be simply that I am a servant of my King, Jesus Christ. How could Christ shine through someone more clearly?

     I hope that here, on this blog, that I might begin to be more honestly humble. Writing is one place where I feel bold... so maybe this is the best place to start learning to share openly about myself.

      -Monty